Signature PackagE

The Clarence Thomas Signature Package delivers an "often bitter and illogical" opinion couched in "musket originalism" penned by Justice Clarence Thomas. This hand-signed document is ideal for oligarchs on a budget, as it presents your judicial opinion without the high costs associated with a decisive verdict. Package includes one (1) hand-signed opinion by Justice Clarence Thomas

Note: Requires Friendship level of hospitality, paid travel and accommodations, per diem. Additional charges for comments delivered from the bench. Also, an authenticated Clarence Thomas signature goes for about $150 on Ebay. Just sayin.

Century Package

The Clarence Thomas Century Package gives you the power to overturn any Supreme Court decision made in the past 100 years. Any case. You decide how the court will rule, and Clarence Thomas will make it happen.

Famously-corrupt Trump justices worked with Clarence to overturn Roe v Wade, erasing nearly 50 years of abortion rights in America. Yep, the Clare did that. 

Whether you want to resegregate schools and public pools or you seek to harm gay people and their families, Clarence’s Century package makes the extreme possible.

With the Century package in mind, Justice Thomas says SCOTUS ‘should reconsider’ past rulings that didn't go his way, like contraception access, same-sex relationships and same-sex marriage rulings. Funny, Clarence didn't want to talk about the interracial marriage ruling.

Note: Requires “Dear Dear” Friend level of hospitality, gift cards and direct cash payments. Limited number of Thomas statue sponsorships available.

"Loving Virginia works for me." - CT